Why I’d Rather Lose Friends Than Be With Fake Ones?

I know, it has been more than a month since I posted an article. What can I say, I am a fan of active procrastination. At the moment, I have 14 drafts on my page waiting to be posted, but I didn’t feel that they are cut out for being published, just yet!

But, hey, better late than never, ha? So, let’s get this started then!!

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I was sitting on my balcony, trying to ignore the noises surrounding me and enjoy the cool breeze, when suddenly I had an epiphany (one of those existential dilemmas, you know!). I wondered how many people who vowed to be in my life till my teeth start falling out, have gone. I realised how many people who pretended to be that Best-Friend-Forever crap, have shown no sense of importance towards me, while I put them on a pedestal. I’m not saying that I am always right, but, I know that I don’t shy away from accepting when I am mistaken.

See, the thing with fragile friendships is that no matter how many labels you put to make yourself feel better, they will always be bounded by conditions. Hence, I let them go. Some I stopped texting and calling, some I blocked from Social Media and my life, and some, well, will always be in my heart, no matter how much they’ve hurt me. It’s weird, right? You think that for even a single second if you are able to hate people, you’ll feel better about letting them go. But, it is not true. The more you hate them, the more they have a hold on you. And, isn’t it the opposite of what you wanted?

Most of us confuse letting go, with having no/less communication, or not hanging out, or hating them. What we fail to understand, though, is that the art of letting go is not having any effect on their presence or absence.

Don’t get carried away, just yet. This piece is not a lesson in philosophy!

 

People hangout together at coffee shop

Friend, or as Oxford dictionary defines it, a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations. But, hey, it’s not that simple! While some have been there in your life since you started learning the Alphabet till now, there are others who leave at the first sight of a burnt pancake. And, the problem with us human beings is that the moment we share a cup of coffee or go for a bathroom break together, we start labelling them as our ‘friends.’ This is the primary reason we get upset when they’re no longer there. Here you are, thinking you’ll be their maid of honour, while they’re not even planning to invite you to the reception (let alone the wedding ceremony).

So what is it about growing old that our company keeps changing and we don’t even have a single familiar face we played Merry-Go-Round with left in our lives?

People often say it is because the more we grow up, the better we’re able to figure out who actually understands us and who is just pretending. And, trust me, 90 percent of them are the latter! There will always be a specific set of buddies you’ll go out for drinks with, others you’ll gossip with and the rest to spend a night on the terrace with. However, there are a select few you can do all of that with and they’ll still be there when you need a shoulder to cry on!

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Since I am an extrovert, people keep exclaiming the number of friends I have and go out with (thanks to Facebook check-ins). Ohh, how I wish to tell them, how wrong they are! To be honest, there have been times when I wanted to call someone and let it all out.  But, the moment I picked up my phone, there was no one to call (unfortunately, it was also way past midnight, so it’s not like I could call my best friend and rant about stuff). Well, just to state it, I did call him the next day and ranted my heart out!

So, I am just saying that the quality always overrides quantity. There might be friends you choose to put on your insta, but never in your heart. People who keep complaining about not having enough friends are the people who’ve never believed in depth. The depth of selflessness, the depth of a meaningful relationship, the depth of a connection. These people would rather go for a plethora of flea market knockoffs than having one amazing pair of the real Manolo Blahnik in their closet (yes, I watch too much of Sex and the City).

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