“All failed relationships hurt, but losing someone who doesn’t appreciate and respect you is actually a gain, not a loss” ~ Anonymous
In a world where feelings have become mere tools to get laid, loving someone is a mistake you don’t want to commit. Out of the huge percentage of people who show love, there are a good few who mean it. But, we have all done it. Fallen for someone, regretted it, and moved on eventually (or we try to), haven’t we? Seems like we dig ourselves a long grave that we can’t get out of, right?
Talking about relationships, I had one too. You know that moment you feel that you might fall for someone and just then they will unleash their evil side? Yeah, exactly. That!
While I realise that he was a mistake, I don’t regret a thing. A few good moments and a cup of tea. How can you ever regret it? *tea before boys*
I figured its easier to learn from your mistakes, than feeling sorry for yourself. So what did I learn? Why am I glad that my ex happened to me?
After months of assessment and another million cups of tea, this is what I realised he taught me;
- To know my worth
Regardless of how he treated me every time things went south, I still pursued him. I was scared to let go, so I let him be mean to me. Everytime he disagreed with me, or vice versa; I preferred to leave the conversation instead of fighting. Ofcourse, I never let him hinder my self-respect, but I chose to be with him because that relationship meant more to me than my ego.
Would I do it now? No.
If there’s one thing I know now, is that living on my own terms is way more important than a guy I am dating.
- Be as you are, don’t change for anyone
Throughout the course of the relationship, one thing I heard repeatedly was, “You are immature.” Damn right I am, because you are old. Duh!
It was pretty clear to me that he is a judgemental human being, but I ignored it every time I could. And, later I realised if he won’t stop being a judge of everything I do, why should I change myself for him?
Your flaws are for you to own it. It is your choice to change them or let them be. If you do change them, don’t do it for any Tom-Dick-Harry. Your individualism is your spark, don’t let anyone put it away. If anyone tries to change you, show them the way out.
- The true meaning of happiness
Not that I treated him like a king, but I still let his happiness take over mine sometimes. Whether it is a plan we made or a place to eat; I gave preferences to his choices. I did think he was being unfair, but there’s no point starting a fire you can’t put off, is it? Also, I am a good person!
So he taught me that your happiness is your own. Prioritising yourself and caring about what you think before anyone else, will make you happy. Basically, what’s important is YOU!
- To believe in myself
If I could go back and recall the number of times I have doubted my strengths, I would be a richling. But, with him, whether it was my weight loss journey or my confidence, always got a boost. He made me believe in myself, even when I didn’t.
Whether it was a morning bun and a no make up face or a full-fledged party look, he didn’t forget to tell me that I looked beautiful. He told me the real meaning of the word, “beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.” And, believing that I looked good, will make others see me similarly (Also, make them jealous :P)
- I learnt how to recover from broken trust
Maybe it’s right as they say, things do happen for a reason. When you start loving a friend, not only does your relationship change, your feelings get magnified as well. It is a shame when all of it goes to the pooper the moment you know you’re being cheated on.
Hence, I learnt the art of not handing out my trust to every guy I meet, even if he is my friend. No, I haven’t stopped trusting people altogether; it’s just, now I know that if its broken it won’t take me more than a bite of choco lava cake to get over.
In all fairness, there are both bad exes and good ones. But, then there are a few who have a mix of foul and fine in them. These people have bad to give you lessons for life, and good to give you memories to love.
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